tell your sister to shave her snatch
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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