I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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