the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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