the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
