this beer tastes like vomit already
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize