The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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