the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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