You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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