She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize