I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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