fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
