Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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