we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
