Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i think i have herpe
just one?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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