Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
