I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
