Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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