how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
