i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
