there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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