5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
