Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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