My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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