You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
