Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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