Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
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the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.