I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Last time i carry you out of a forest
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."