Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
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I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.