You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
