Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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