She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
