this beer tastes like vomit already
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
