I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
