I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
