I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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