It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
