jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh god it's open bar.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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