Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize