Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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