FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
