You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
