Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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