Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
