We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
