well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Little spoons don't ask big questions
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
