U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
