I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
