so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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