a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
