I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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