Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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