And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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