I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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