Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize