so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
