Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
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