I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize